Friends are definitely a big part of our being and
our social lives. As humans, we need friends. We
need people to share feelings, have
conversations, and to be part of our social
networks.
Friends are there for us when we need them and
we’re there for them. Good friends are always
there for us and bring out the best in us. On the
other hand, sometimes you find out that a friend
isn’t a friend. Perhaps they were just taking
advantage of you or taking a service you
provided. Once they didn’t need it anymore, they
revealed their true colors.
It is extremely important to choose your friends
wisely, and not just because they provide you a
service.
True friends should be lively, supportive, uplifting,
and bring out the best in you. They should
appreciate the real you and love your personality.
And you should provide that same support as
well.
1. Backbiting
This one is common among fake friends.
Backbiting is saying nasty things about someone
in their absence. True friends don’t wait until you
leave before they tell you your weaknesses and
encourage you to work on them. Backbiting is an
obvious sign that that your so-called friend is not
really your friend.
There is a saying that it's only a genuine friend
that can tell his/her friend that their mouth smells
horribly..
2. Disregard
Ever been in a situation, let’s say in a university,
where you and your friend studied, did all the
assignments, and worked on all the projects
together? Then, after the course is over, did the
person disregard your phone calls and refuse to
stay in touch? This is a big shocker, but it
happens. People like that are advantage takers;
they are friends so they can study with you, gain
from you, and diss you afterwards and act like
they never knew you.
3. Not Wishing You The Best
True friends will always wish you the best in your
work, home, family, and life in general. This is
because true friends feel happy when you achieve
a milestone or reach a goal. If someone’s jealous
or angry because you put your own needs first
and accomplished your goal, watch out: that is
not a true friend.
4. Setting You Up
This does not happen a lot but could happen
occasionally. It is definitely frustrating and
heartbreaking when you find out that the person
that set you up is an old friend. If this ever
happens, it definitely means that the person is not
a true friend.
5. Demotivating/Discouraging You
If a friend or companion is demotivating you or
discouraging you from doing something good,
helpful, or useful, it could be because they fear
you succeeding and getting ahead of them. It
might not be personal – they could just be
negative about life in general. But it could indicate
that they don’t want the best for you and do not
qualify as true friends.
6. Not Missing You
Another red flag when it comes to friendship?
They don’t miss you when you’re gone. This
might seem silly, and not worth your attention,
but there could be meaning behind it. If you go
on a trip, true friends will miss you and make the
effort to welcome you back home.
7. Not Happy To See You
Friends are usually happy to see each other. On
the contrary, fake friends will just be happy to see
a “friend” when they need help with something or
when there is some benefit on the line. After all
the work is done and they don’t need any more
help, these phony friends don’t care much about
seeing you.
8. Taking Advantage
This is one of the biggest reasons that fake
friends pursue you. Taking advantage is terrible,
but many people need something and use it as a
motive to make friends. This can be spotted. Ask
yourself, “Does this person notice and contact me
only when he needs a favor? Does he ignore me
when he doesn’t need anything?” If so, this might
not be your friend.
9. Using Excuses To Avoid You
Ever been in a situation where you tried to contact
a friend but he would not answer your calls? Did
he give various excuses as time passed? He told
you he was busy at work, but you ran into him
unexpectedly while he was out chilling with
others. Suddenly you feel miserable and realize
that you are not important to him. You are sure
he was just avoiding you all along. If so, and if
he’s not planning a surprise party for you, he is
not your real friend.
10. Blaming You
Friends are meant to protect each other not to
blame each other and depending on the degree of
friendship, cover up for each other. One thing to
take notice of is if your friend is blaming
everything on you whenever you guys get in
trouble, even though you might be innocent. Your
friend is putting your friendship in danger. Run
from such a friend.
11. Not Understanding
True friends are those who understand you and
what you’re doing and what you are going
through. They will never make you feel bad
because you prefer to work from time to time
instead of hanging out with them. Instead they
understand that you have a deadline to meet. A
sketchy friend will make you feel terrible if you
pass on an invitation because you have
something more important going.
12. Pretending
Some people are born pretenders chai... Some
people are actually good actors and it is really
hard to tell if they are trying to get to know you
as a friend or just interested in a skill you have.
However, once you’re friends, it’s easier to
discover whether they are real or not. Be careful
of friends that are not straightforward.
13. Cannot Tell Them A Secret
You don’t feel comfortable to confide your secrets
to just anybody. A secret is a big, important
detail of your life and, once exposed, can lead to
potential issues and problems. If you cannot tell a
friend a secret, then he/she is not really a friend.
A friend is one who you tell your secret to and
won't hear it elsewhere.
14.You Are Making All The Effort
Many relationships are one-sided relationships
and just don’t work. One party is putting in all the
effort while the other cannot be bothered or is
just not attempting to make the relationship work.
That is not a true friendship, and usually leads to
the loss or destruction of a friendship.
15. They Forget Important Dates
I feel really hurt when a friend i consider to be
very close forgets most especially my birthday.
Friends are meant to remember important dates,
especially your birthday (can be excused on
others). This is because these dates define us
and are a huge part of our lives just like a true
friend is. If your firend remembers such dates, the
value of your relationship grows. A casual or fake
friend would not bother remembering such dates.
